that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
