yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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