Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
we're so committed to being not committed
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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