last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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