question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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