There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
