Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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