well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
