that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
