this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
