Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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