I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
