But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
