He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize