we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
