WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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