Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
