I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
