I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
