i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
