she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
