upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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