Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
worst night to have a conscience
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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