is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Is it penis luge time yet?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
