I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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