Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
