I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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