I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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