Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You ate ashes out of my bong
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
