ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize