Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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