I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
