part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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