I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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