How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
