He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
