i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
