Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
