Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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