turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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