I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
