She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
