I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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