so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
