one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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