Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
