He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Semen is not good for contacts.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize