It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
