I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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