the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
