He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
