she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
