thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
