Betty ford says i'm here all night
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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