There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
