Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
two words...techno handjob
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
