It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
