He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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