i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
look no pants
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
