OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
