whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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