I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
