I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
