I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
