you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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